I
am in the process of attempting to downsize my library and, as I find it
difficult to let knowledge go, re-reading material that has not been taken off
the shelf for years in the hope that it is no longer relevant and I can toss it
out…hmmm! At the moment I’m revisiting, among other things, writing on
Northern/Germanic mythology.
During
the same period there have been a number of television programs addressing
depression, suicide and a sense of hopelessness experienced by young people and
those involved in war and peacekeeping, including the police. Two of
these programs are Milpirriand Lateline.[1]
Milpirri
is a documentary about young aboriginal men who are being educated and guided
through culture and the ritual of initiation to give them a sense of grounding,
direction and purpose. Lateline is an interview with Julia Gillard who
has been appointed Chairperson of Beyond Blue, one of the organisations
which addresses the growing incidence of suicide.
And
the question is, why? What are we, as a society, as a
culture, not supplying? What is lacking in our socio-cultural myths - the
stories we tell ourselves about what life is - and our rituals - the communally
sanctioned rites of passage? Are we promoting unrealistic and idealized
stories that can never be realized by ordinary people? Are we not giving
a clear enough picture of the world? How do we guide people through the messy
reality of our world and come out with a sense of hope, if not for the world at
least for ourselves? Perhaps all belief systems and ritual have been
attempts to process these issues in order to maintain inner and social harmony.
I
wonder if part of the mindframe around self-destruction and suicide comes from
this inability to reconcile an imagined ideal world and an ideal life for
ourselves and those we love with the reality of world news and our daily
experiences. Human fragility is such that the smallest incident can tip
the balance and send our mind-brain into a spiral of self-other-anger, loss of
focus and hope, depression, and self-destruction.
Understandably
some of this is a result of being confronted with and having to endure
horrendous events, and of realising that all efforts to ‘do the right thing’,
‘hoping to make a difference’ or ‘hoping that things will change’ seem to have
come to nothing. I wonder if this ‘spin-out’ comes from not being given
the right support structures, including belief systems and myth, to be ready
for and process this sense of betrayal.
Yet
we seem to need the open window offered by idealized versions of life that
organizations and individuals work to attain; that there is ‘someone out there’
who stands for ‘good’. This need is exemplified by the popularity of the
variation-on-a-theme super-hero movies, cartoons and computer games in which
‘good’ versus ‘evil’...and ‘good’ wins.
Re-reading
Northern-Germanic mythology has been a reminder that many of our ancient
stories contain this ideal. Stories are filled with the messiness of the
world and the need for it to be destroyed in the hope of its rebirth and
renewal…or of heroes who fight ‘the bad’...or that there is an alternative
world, a paradise, which is perfect and waiting for us when we die. The reality
is that since those stories were written the world has not much changed in this
regard and yet we continue.
The
Northern-Germanic myths also contain the story of a sacrificial victim.
This symbol is questionable as it heroizes the one who is either killed through
no fault of their own, or who offers themselves up for the sake of others or
the world. As with suicide, it is a waste – a waste of potential and a
waste of a life which has the same right as every other living creature to
live, survive, and thrive.
The
Milpirri initiation project seems to have parallels in Jane Ellen Harrison’s[2] analysis
of early Cretan/Greek rites which are considered to be initiatory. She
focuses on myths where the child is taken from their mother, symbolically
killed or hidden away and given instruction including learning the culture’s
stories, songs and dances, and then resurrected or returned as mature adults
able to function in their society.
Harrison
theorizes that the early rites of passage emerged out of the needs of the
community. The underlying assumption is that most people in the community
shared similar goals, similar beliefs about their society and each person’s
place and function, and that the rites of passage reinforced this common
ethos. The difference now is, we don’t all believe the same, act
the same, or dream for the same things. We are able to live, on the
whole, individualised lives.
Information
about our icons or god/desses and ways of living is accessed via TV, Facebook,
Twitter, Youtube, Instagram and the like. Multitudes of ways of being and
believing are available for us to compare, judge and fashion our own
lives. However it is obvious that for some this is not enough. So
the question returns, ‘what are we missing in contemporary
society’? Is it that we need to develop our individualised,
alternative myths, rituals and rites of passage, and if so, who has the
knowledge, understanding and sensitivity to guide us through?
By
the time I entered university for the last time that is exactly where I had
arrived – the need to create a myth of the world and my place in the world[3],
and to develop my own rites of passage to see me through each stage.[4] [5]
The most difficult stage for me was that of confronting the world and life as
it is, no illusions. Some Christian religious call it ‘the dark night of
the soul’ or ‘being in the wilderness’. Other cultures talk of ‘a vision
quest’; one where you face your own fears and mortality. The common
thread is facing the fear that ‘it may not turn out all right in the end’. (also see Addendum)
The other common thread seems to be that there are usually 'elders', 'spiritual directors', counsellors or group therapy facilitators who function to guide and guard, even from a distance, in case the whole process becomes too difficult. It is not an easy journey. This goes some way towards answering one of the questions I have previously asked.
In
every religion there seems to be a dark side and the symbol of the ying/yang in
Taoist philosophy is the closest, I think, to visually representing and
balancing both sides. Yet... ‘what if the balance is not maintained in
the cosmos, what then’? That is the primal fear. I think part of
the answer is in our attitude to, and myth/story of, our personal act of living.
We are alive...that is something...something very special. So, whatever
occurs ‘out there’ or ‘before’ should not be allowed to destroy our moment on
the planet.
Some
people may have no need for such musings - quite happy to close their minds,
and I guess eyes, not think too deeply, and ‘carry on’ acting as if all is
well, as it might be in their lives, and survive wound-free. But for
others who are musers, or have seen or experienced too much and have been
burned, it is not as easy to ignore that dark side. My rituals, my rites
of passage, work for me.
Others
may ask, ‘what about hope?’ ‘How do we give our young, our people, hope for the
future?’ In 2007 I wrote a poem in response to a comment about something
I had written or performed. I don’t remember exactly. The poem
still encapsulates my current thoughts on this.
GROWING UP
They are so deep...so heavy
too
depressing really
I just don’t want to think
about it
be
confronted with it
Where is the hope?
Why don’t you
write...perform....create
something
positive
something
to make us laugh?
Yes, well...
But the need to search for
meaning...an answer
the
need to know and confront
to take it all on board as
‘this
is what it is’
‘these
are the challenges...the contradictions’
‘this
is the reality’
to
discover that the answer and hope are, after all,
illusive
and then to still find joy in
each moment
to be
able to accommodate
the
complexity
the
contradictions
the
ugliness
as
well as the beauty...
and,
with the lightest of hearts,
to
fully celebrate the experience of living
isn’t that the time we really
grow up
when
we really attain our adulthood
our
maturity?[6]
I
have always differentiated between daily habits and rituals. However
recently, the fact that I have woken on another day and am enjoying my morning
coffee while watching the world come alive, is precious and has become a
meaningful daily rite...so simple...no theology...just me and my coffee and the
world...living the life I have been given moment by moment...finding the cracks...and
engaging in practical ways to survive.
It is not the actions themselves, but the honouring of these actions, that moves these habits into the realm of ritual; similar to saying a blessing over, or grace before, a meal. In Alpha and Omega Harrison writes, ‘if we are to keep our hold on religion, theology must go’. For her, religion is the realm of the emotions and action, whereas theology is the realm of theory and the gods. I tend to agree with her and, like her, I suspect ‘I was always a ritualist at heart’.[7] [8]
It is not the actions themselves, but the honouring of these actions, that moves these habits into the realm of ritual; similar to saying a blessing over, or grace before, a meal. In Alpha and Omega Harrison writes, ‘if we are to keep our hold on religion, theology must go’. For her, religion is the realm of the emotions and action, whereas theology is the realm of theory and the gods. I tend to agree with her and, like her, I suspect ‘I was always a ritualist at heart’.[7] [8]
Nature just is. The animals just act...and enjoy the sun, or water, or not. We humans have made it so complicated and probably expect too much. I suspect it is really easy. We have developed brains able to think deeply and to create and solve the most complex problems. The downside is we can overthink and dwell too long. I have had said to me, 'don't think, just do'. My take is, 'don't overthink or dwell...get moving'.
I’m
not sure whether this has answered ‘what are suitable myths and rituals for our
time, including transitional rites of passage?’. Perhaps there are as many as
there are people, and individuals need to create their own processes to see
them through those times when the s**t hits the fan and it seems that
all hope is lost.
For Lao-Tzu in the 12th century it was, the world is ruled by letting things take their course. I prefer to engage more directly with the world I was born into and my myths and rituals need to allow for this while conflating my idealized dreams with the lived reality. Perhaps the answer is somewhere between separating totally from the world, and getting lost in the fight for ideals.
At this moment...living my life is calling and I just need to do it.
c. Annette Maie, 2017
Addendum, 2019
Recently I read
two articles by women experiencing this type of darkness; facing loss of hope.
The first is the founder of TreeSisters Clare Dubois, who names it Inhabiting the Gap, and the second is Emily Johnson in Lovinga Vanishing World,
and also excited to read of the work of Dr. Claire Weekes, whose
treatment process for anxiety was to face, accept, float and let time pass.
[1] In the process of compiling
this update in 2019 it has been devastating to hear of the recent suicide of five young indigenous girls
over a period of nine days, https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6595851/The-real-reason-five-Aboriginal-girls-killed-just-nine-days.html
[2] Harrison, Jane
Ellen Epilegomena to the Study of Greek Religion and Themis, A Study of
the Social Origins of Greek Religion. She also points out the link
between 'initiation' and 'grown up' in Greek language (p. xxxii).
[3] Centre of the Storm
[4] Fransesca
Gina (Why Rituals Work) exemplifies performers in high stress situations who use rituals to
reduce anxiety, boost their confidence and perform well, and presents studies
which have been conducted on the use and impact of rituals. Andrew May (Seven morning rituals that set you up
for success) presents a personal list
which ‘energise me keeping me healthy and productive…kick starts my body and
brain into gear and before long I’m back feeling fresh again’. For Andrew these actions become rituals by
being ‘done with deliberate intention and focus’.
[5] Interesting to read Richard
Fidler’s Ghost Empire: a record of his
and his son’s travels through Constantinople and its ghastly history, which
they embarked on as his son’s ‘coming-of-age’ ceremony ‘to mark a child’s entry
into incipient adulthood’(2016:23)
[6] If I have understood her correctly, Susan
Murphy in Upside-Down Zen calls this process ‘the tiger’s
kindness’.
[7] Harrison,
1915:179,184
[8]
Elizabeth Kolbert, That’s What You Think, presents studies
which demonstrate that a person’s beliefs, as well as the beliefs of their
group, have more power than reasoned argument or the reality. Kolbert’s
writing can be extended to support, in my case in relation to suicide prevention,
the argument of finding alternative ways to change one’s belief about the world
and one’s own place in the world, and that reasoned arguments will not be
enough.
